He, however, wants to be in touch despite my lack of interest, and has written several times to ask how I am. Friendly-like. I have uniformly not replied.
Last Friday on OKC, DMDM showed up wanting to talk.
Meh. My curiosity got the better for the first time since February. So we chatted.
I was reminded why I had not previously engaged. Qualities that made him aggravating then made him aggravating now: Insistence that I was irrational for not wanting to be friends. Memories from dates that are not actually from our dates -- i.e., are from other women he was also dating at the time. Apologies for being an ass juxtaposed immediately with lists of my purported screw-ups.
Typical hash-out with an ex.
This exchange arose after I told him I was doing a long run on Saturday followed by a date. Which maybe explains all the reasons we don't need to be friends.
DMDM: have a great date. enjoy it - listen to his story if you willDMDM wants to be friends. Which perhaps means he just wants to get together to have sex when it's handy. Brilliant.
DMDM: see what he's all about
Karin: Thanks for the tip.
DMDM: it's the best tip you've received in a while
DMDM: you have a tendency to dominate the conversation
DMDM: you are a great catch
DMDM: more tennis though - less fishing
Karin: You're a hoot.
DMDM: - all joking aside - that was always a challenge
Karin: Are you seriously saying this to me?
DMDM: I'd start a story that was poignant and it would just get obliterated
Karin: The man who talks a blue streak? All the time?
DMDM: me. with you? neeeeeeeeeeever
Karin: Short memory.
DMDM: you talked almost the whole time
DMDM: i loved your stories but we never had a dialogue
Karin: Good to know.
DMDM: you thought i talked too much? me?
Karin: You talk more than any guy I've ever dated.
DMDM: oh that's probably because i interrupted you more than other guys
DMDM: that was funny
Karin: I have memories of driving in my car and listening to you talk for 20 or 30 minutes without breathing.
DMDM: never. that wasn't me. that was you
DMDM: sometimes i would rant but seriously
DMDM: i have memories of you and i together and you just going on for 2 to 3 hours
DMDM: and me just thinking...what if we just made out would that work
Karin: Are you really working to aggravate me or do you just do this without trying?
So I went on my date Saturday night and it was decent. Enough so that later in the evening, I felt comfortable asking if he thought I talked too much. To which he replied:
"Well, you do like to talk. But I like listening to you."(Great first-date answer. Thanks!)
Sunday afternoon Balint and I went for a sushi lunch. I also asked him if he thought I talked too much. He laughed loudly and said:
"Yes, you do talk a lot. But you say interesting things."Now that's the kind of friend I need.