Wednesday, September 29, 2010

So there.

I've made a point to stay out of touch with Date Meltdown Man

He, however, wants to be in touch despite my lack of interest, and has written several times to ask how I am. Friendly-like. I have uniformly not replied.

Last Friday on OKC, DMDM showed up wanting to talk. 

Meh. My curiosity got the better for the first time since February. So we chatted.

I was reminded why I had not previously engaged. Qualities that made him aggravating then made him aggravating now: Insistence that I was irrational for not wanting to be friends. Memories from dates that are not actually from our dates -- i.e., are from other women he was also dating at the time. Apologies for being an ass juxtaposed immediately with lists of my purported screw-ups.

Typical hash-out with an ex.

This exchange arose after I told him I was doing a long run on Saturday followed by a date. Which maybe explains all the reasons we don't need to be friends.
DMDM:  have a great date. enjoy it - listen to his story if you will
DMDM:  see what he's all about
Karin:   Thanks for the tip.
DMDM:  it's the best tip you've received in a while
DMDM:  you have a tendency to dominate the conversation
DMDM:  you are a great catch
DMDM:  more tennis though - less fishing
Karin:  You're a hoot.
DMDM:  - all joking aside - that was always a challenge
Karin:  Are you seriously saying this to me?
DMDM:  I'd start a story that was poignant and it would just get obliterated
Karin:  The man who talks a blue streak?  All the time?
DMDM:  me.  with you?  neeeeeeeeeeever
Karin:  Short memory.
DMDM:  you talked almost the whole time
DMDM: i loved your stories but we never had a dialogue
Karin:  Good to know.
DMDM:  you thought i talked too much? me?
Karin:  You talk more than any guy I've ever dated.
DMDM:  oh that's probably because i interrupted you more than other guys
DMDM: that was funny
Karin:  I have memories of driving in my car and listening to you talk for 20 or 30 minutes without breathing.
DMDM:  never. that wasn't me.  that was you
DMDM:  sometimes i would rant but seriously
DMDM:  i have memories of you and i together and you just going on for 2 to 3 hours
DMDM:  and me just thinking...what if we just made out would that work
Karin:  Are you really working to aggravate me or do you just do this without trying?
DMDM wants to be friends. Which perhaps means he just wants to get together to have sex when it's handy. Brilliant.

So I went on my date Saturday night and it was decent. Enough so that later in the evening, I felt comfortable asking if he thought I talked too much. To which he replied:
"Well, you do like to talk. But I like listening to you."
(Great first-date answer. Thanks!)

Sunday afternoon Balint and I went for a sushi lunch. I also asked him if he thought I talked too much.  He laughed loudly and said:

"Yes, you do talk a lot. But you say interesting things."
Now that's the kind of friend I need.

3 comments:

Joshua said...

Back where I come from, we call someone who talks a lot about interesting things a "good conversationalist."

(And you're an excellent listener too, by the way.)

Karin said...

@Joshua.

I <3 U.

Karin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.