Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I DO have (a) pseudo-date(s)!

Actually, I have 2. Kind of.

In all my whining about finding the time or mojo to meet a man socially, I forgot that I indeed have plans to meet my Very-Occasional-Suitor, C, for a movie Friday.

(Ah, flakiness. C & I set this up Sept. 2, when we last saw each other. I came home that night to find my apartment infested with flies and was distracted for several days.)

Meanwhile I reconnected on e-mail this week with the other man on this blog I call C and also almost never see (and also promised not to really write about). He lives near Davis Square and likes to go out late; I have 4 weekly rehearsals in Davis, most of which end late. So we're going to attempt another Beer Out on Thursday, our first since mid-July.

Both Cs are fine fellows. I'm looking forward to seeing both. Except I'm not entirely sure either constitutes a date in a date sense.

Especially C-2, since all we've done since meeting 7 months ago is share our respective stories of dating other people. I also remember it was I who suggested to C-1 that we see a movie .... meaning he didn't really ask me out. Besides, we've been acquaintances for literally years to get to this point. There's been scant discussion of romance, other than the fact that we're choosing to spend time together.

Is "pseudo-date" a good term for these sorts of get-togethers? Which brings up the point, should I be going on pseudo-dates, period? Like, when I'm searching for a boyfriend, is ambiguity the best route to follow?

Good questions.

In the new spirit of not riding the timid wagon, I should probably just ask C-1 and C-2 what they think and go from there.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

@Karin. A "date" is a date. Period. Just enjoy the evening.

R said...

Pseudo-dates can be so draining (energy, time etc)....Had my share of them, and would generally advise my friends against going on them (if my opinion was being sought :-) ) However, if you do plan to have a talk with the 2 C's on how they see things progressing between you, then I think you're already taking the pseudo-dates out of their 'psuedo' realm, which is a worthwhile goal, I should think.

Karin said...

@R, amen to that. I think I'm going through a stretch where I wonder if being so casual about my dating approach is _wasting my time_. Something about feeling old, all of a sudden, and feeling the passage of time more acutely. So don't dally on the "maybe" kind of dates ....

I agree that the minute you start talking with date about what kind of date you're on, the seriousness factor either gets racheted up or you scare the shit out of him and that's the last date you're on. We'll see.