Communication conversation

I'm always glad to hear from Cousin J. But even more so during all this reflection on communication styles thanks to the Saturday Date Meltdown.

(It works doesn't it? "SDM" having the appropriate verbal resemblance to such satisfying-sounding words as Sodom, or Saddam, or Sadomachoism .... ? I'm not going to go on about this forever but giving a bad memory a title does sure make having to remember it more palatable.)

J's a right wise one, and a willing partner in experiments on self betterment. The note from Managua came in shortly after the initial Sunday post, which led to this exchange:

J: wow, too bad the date went south, but you are wise to take the learning route, i am going through little learning things with colleagues, trying to be more quiet and listening rather than reacting ... i'm working on my poker face more than usual bc i need to take in a bit more before judging these days ....

K: Your thoughts about listening more are wise ones, indeed, and I too will make an effort this week as an exercise. [My date] was an ass about how this happened but he did, originally, have a likely beef with me and I need to avoid that type of thing going forward. Thanks for the tip.

J: Ok, we're on. Listen more, think first, talk with wiseness not gut blabbering. I'm in! I'll report back if you will! (not to assume your issue is the same, simply that we can report on whatever it is) This week, I'll have lots of interaction with my volunteers, a perfect time to not be bossy but instead listen and help them answer their own questions.

K: I will suggest that I will simply talk less .... Since I had a blabberfest weekend, it will be a challenge. But will supposedly affect my workplace and rehearsals (that start tonight).

Then tonight:

K: So I'm happy to report that the conscientious listening was a big help at work today. It really just calmed me down in my communication. I made coherent, clear sentences when speaking at co-workers.

(Really, folks. You have to understand this is not normal.)

K: [The calmness] helps because ... I just read [my date's] e-mail again, and it's bothering me more today than it did yesterday. This whole bit of 'wow, that was so awful that we should throw out months of interaction over this.' For some reason, that rationale is aggravating the shit out of me at present. I'm sure it will fade.

J: You can probably take something from the incident and learn, be wiser, quieter, more cautious to hear the other person or to do a check-in right in the moment (and avoid later conflicts) but he is as at fault for the clusterf*** of a situation and even with months of history, still not worth your life of confusion.

I heart girl friends and their sagacity and for always being on my side.