The younger set

Some days I believe I should pay OKCupid! a commission for providing the bandwith that facilitates the IM chats that so often lead to blog topics.

About 7 last night, I was prepared to explain here how I realized August 31, 2009 was, yes, the last day of my 1st decade living in Boston. A topic meriting dissection. Could open a million retrospective doors.

Blah. Who wants to open a million doors. The topic seems insurmountable to someone who, despite the waves of weddings / anniversaries / birthdays this time of year, has found it taxing to wax reflective about anything lately.

(Which accounts for all the photos, btw. Maybe later today, after completing the 1st day of the 1st month of my my 11th year -- all those 1's! -- I'll be inspired. I did begin it by rising at 6 a.m. for a 7.7-mile run through the streets of Southie ... and the sky was empty and the breeze crisp and the legs feel good. Who knows.)

Meanwhile, when doing my ritual Monday peek on OKC to explore who might have viewed my profile over the weekend, up popped a window from a 25-y-old dark-and-handsome. A-ha! Younger man.

You've been here with me. Very few such hellos turn out promising. But I was in the mood to talk to someone, so I returned his "hi!" It was an inauspicious start.

Karin: So, what's up with you?
D&H: nothing i was just looking at your profile and figured i'd shoot you a message
K: That's kind, thanks.
D&H: you're welcome

Sigh. The drama.

We soon discovered we live just a few blocks apart in Southie. Then he picked up steam by citing adjectives from my profile. Flattering me.

D&H: so kissable and feisty huh? not a bad little combination
K: Well, I try. Thanks.
D&H: you're welcome

Sigh.

He revealed himself as a dental school student. Me as a lapsed creative writing MFA. Then, to the meat of things, so to speak, following the standard script ... or man following his libido:

D&H: what are you looking for? so what brings you here?
K: To OKC?
D&H: Yup.
K: It has varied. Depends on the time and the mood.
D&H: haha well what about recently or now?
K: I've been a bit ambiguous lately. Other parts of my life very distracting and frantic.
D&H: i see
K: I think I'd like to pursue something more relationship-like, but hard to get it started with other stuff going on.
D&H: ya...
D&H: would you be open to something more casual?

Naturally. Welcome to my life as a 36-y-old woman on OKC. Men in their 20s who want something relationship-like with me, especially if I intimated I wanted it, are rarer than Republican congressmen from Massachusetts.

K: How casual is casual?
D&H: i dont know really lol
D&H: wine and a movie
D&H: followed or interrupted by some passionate sex
D&H: we live so close i figured it might work out well for both of us... and i have a thing for cute older women (well older than me)

I'm a cute older woman. Who knew?

(Stay with me here.)

K: hmm. Kind of a one-night thing, you're saying.
D&H: no, not at all actually
D&H: unless thats all you wanted.
D&H: i was thinking kind of a steady thing, or whenever we both felt like it
K: Yes. Well I suppose that would depend on if we got along or not.
D&H: well of course
K: Of course.

And thus commences my favorite revelation.

D&H: i have never been with someone over 30... and I want to very badly
D&H: and you seem interesting, smart, and very cute
K: Oh? Tell me more about that.
D&H: more about what?
K: Desire for women over 30 .... what drives it?
D&H: idk what it is.. maybe the maturity .... or letting them be more in control
D&H: i have always dated younger women
K: Ah, I see.
D&H: you have a beautiful womens body
K: Thanks.
D&H: and i yearn for that
D&H: and someone to just take control of the relationship a little

So this is new, this men in their 20s thinking that women in their 30s have figured out what they want and want to control things. Most guys that age that want to talk to me mostly want to discuss the size of their penis and how they will use it to control me.

I thought I might tell him that, really, my greater desire at the moment is to have a man who wants to take care of me, so that I have someone to help me keep my (currently) thin grip on the list of responsibilities that makes up my life.

But didn't want to cut off his idealism. If he will be worth it, he will be swayed by this argument in person. So I next suggested that perhaps we meet for a drink before we do anything else and he suggest the time and place. I get this sense he thinks it is the minor formality necessary for him to perform so that I'll agree to jump his bones. He may or may not follow through, but:

D&H: that sounds good to me
D&H: you would be fulfilling my greatest fantasy!
D&H: thats gotta be kinda exciting for you too right?
K: You're funny.
D&H: i am!
D&H: do you have any fantasy i can help with?
D&H: haha something tells me you can handle it
D&H and you want to

Oh, to be 25 again and be that hopeful.