Tuesday, September 23, 2008

More guy advice. From guys.

I have a friend named Bill.

He and his wife live west of the city now, although once they were my Southie neighbors. Many times he has come to my apartment, if I was out of town, to feed my cats....and he is allergic to cats. We see each other, at most, once every four months, usually when running the same road race and I'm kicking his butt. Other than that and politics, few facets of our lives otherwise converge.

However, Bill and I e-mail most days. And this isn't "an" e-mail. It's full-blown conversation....he at his cube at a big-box corporation in the suburbs, me from my 28th-floor window in the Back Bay. A couple hours, or the whole day, depending on mood and subject matter. If too many days elapse in between, one of us will yell, "Still alive?"

I can't imagine working my corporate finance job without our e-mails. It's part of our relative sanity. We're simpatico, and after 6 years there is little we don't know....

So yes, you ask, Bill and I did date. For about 15 minutes in the Fall of 2002. He broke it.....I was mad, and didn't really believe him when he said it was important that we stay friends. But despite the occasional flake-out, which he will admit to, here we are.

And yes, you know what is coming next. I depend on Bill for dating advice. Why not listen to someone happily married to a woman I admire? Even if he wears t-shirts from the early 1990s, obviously he did something right. (It's always a relief when your male friends marry someone you, too, can hang out with....)

So Bill and I have been talking about my other wonderful dating-guru, the CFO. Take, for instance, after recapping last Thursday's outing:

B: "Very cool. At least you’re having fun, right?"

K: "Yes. We're generally good together on multiple levels. Although I think it can't go on indefinitely this way. Or I need to get going on something else so I also have dating stories to tell."

B: "Yeah, you are sort of leading yourself on here. Fun is great, but you could be spending time with someone who is closer to your age and shares your long term goals."

K: "I know. And 3 weeks between dates is kind of a lot of downtime so I really don't have an excuse. I have been strangely unmotivated to otherwise date lately, though. Feels like too much work."

B: "It is a lot of work…"

K: "Bill, where is my man?"

B: "Is he behind the couch?"

So this week Bill and I are talking again. About how match.com is not "the savior" and how I might benefit from expanding my social circles outside of running, theater, church and work. "Circulation in a different current," was the exact phrase. He suggests that the Obama campaign might have promise.

Like I mentioned: so far all men I've met with Obamamania have been married or gay. But there's 43 days until the election, so there's time to be patient.

But what else? Cooking class? Softball league? I'll take suggestions.

From Bill, and otherwise.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

do you have any time to volunteer at a school near you? That's where I met my cute English teacher. (when I was volunteering--not as a student in his class--). I will be waving at you from Cokato when you are in MN! Have a grrreat time with the fam.