Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Fabulous patience

I had several good chats this week with Claudia. 

We usually have good chats if I've got man stories to tell her.  Claudia has heard some part of some story of every man I have ever spoken with.  And she has heard all the stories of all the men I've gone so far as to go out with.

So she knows me.

Yesterday at the birthday lunch, I was telling Claudia of a great frustration I own regarding a man I know; my frustration stems from open-ended awkwardness between us that, at least in my opinion, deserves some resolution. I am not asking him for resolution, but I am not patiently awaiting it. I want resolution but don't want to be the one to ask for it.  So I'm just stewing.

Claudia doesn't buy any of this. She says, in essence:
"Screw resolution. Sometimes you don't get it, so just get over it. 
You're not allowed to force anything, especially if he doesn't want to force it. You go live your life and be fabulous and adventuresome and don't be so damn available that you're either boring or annoying."
I wish I wasn't still frustrated. But I so much more wish to not be annoying -- annoyance being the kiss of death to an awkward situation. And the kiss of death to the situation being highly undesirable.

Claudia's advice here might be distilled into a concept, henceforth, to be known only as Fabulous Patience.  Perhaps it is worth a shot.


Justin said...

I almost always agree with Claudia. Easier to expound than to experience, however.

Karin said...

@Justin. My favorite reply to any Claudia relationship advice is always (envision simultaneous vigorous slapping of forehead):

"I know you're right. I know you're right. I know you're right. Why do you have to be right?"