He's a post-doc engineer at MIT who enjoyed that, in my profile, I included a picture from Obama's inauguration. Like others, he included his "cure for cynicism" since it is something I ask for in my profile (along with strong hands, yes). His opening line:
"I saw your profile and liked it, so I just wanted to write to say hello."I replied precisely because ... well, why not? I felt volatilely emotional most of last week and he projected well-adjusted calm. And straightforwardness. And a great smile. And then, responding again, he answered my questions on why he was an atheist and if it was really possible that he did like Sanjaya on "American Idol" before asking me out to dinner.
So at his suggestion, I met him for Thai food over by the Prudential Center. As we were sitting, perusing menus, he pointed out the plethora of pad thai options. A moment later he pointed out the riesling options on the wine list, commenting that "he knew I liked those things."
Just then my OKC profile flashed before my eyes.
And here I was on a Friday night. On Boylston Street. Eating pad thai and drinking riesling after yoga class. With a nice man with whom, I discovered shortly thereafter and believe he would agree, I had no chemistry.On a typical Friday night I am
Running, I hope. Or doing yoga to unwind from the running. Or waiting for the 9 bus after running and yoga and, while getting antsy, instead going across Boylston to the Thai cafe for an emergency pad thai and riesling.
Sigh. Enthusiasm.
Now in the other corner, I've got a man a decade older than me who has been courting with IM enthusiasm from the North Shore since June 23. He has requested chats 14 times; if he's online when I log-on, he says hi!. He is a musician and theater buff and is excited I am too, asking how my musical is going. He is liberal with the use of happy emoticons. He asked me for a drink after the first exchange .... a drink that hasn't happened yet due to my travel, then his travel, then me being hungover a couple Fridays ago when we were supposed to go out.
I was not surprised then, this morning, knowing he was due back from vacation, to find this e-mail from before the sun came up:
"I think I'm free thursday for a drink around 9ish. What does your world look like then? What about that rain check? Is it still redeemable?"(So I just went on to capture that quote from the OKC website for this entry, and he hit me up for a chat, which included:
North Shore: hi there!I am game to go out with him, at least initially, because he is nice to me. He is positive. He sings and plays piano and music-directs in his spare time. He sails boats on the ocean.
Karin: Hi -- at work. How goes?
NS: it goes well, thanks
NS: sent you a note
NS: Thursday?)
He is enthusiastic (sigh).
I will work to match him (sigh).
4 comments:
This post made me think about how we perceive/feel 'chemistry'. I for one, feel it's something that develops over time, and improves (or not) with knowing the person better. Just my two cents' worth -- I'd find it hard to write someone off who I find is 'nice', simply because that initial sense of euphoria doesn't arise when meeting them. Perhaps it's all in people's personalities and maybe I'm a slow-starter who warms up as I go along - a typical introvert trait. But hey, I found my lovely husband a few years ago despite me being an introvert and him being a complete extrovert....I think we found the connection we did, because we were both patient. Like I said, just my two cents' worth.
@DR. Many thanks for the 2 cents. Leave 3 next time!
Yes, perhaps true about chemistry. Although I contend when you meet someone that, even if it isn't overt, you know whether or not you would be happy to see or not see them again on some level. Even if it isn't super-sparkly.
Because of the relative brevity of the explanation, I perhaps oversimplified my impression of NS. I am on the cusp of telling him to chill out. Because just on the basis of our IM conversations, I'm almost smothered. As in, he messages me whenever I log on, within seconds sometimes, as if (and I'm sure he's not, but) he were sitting there waiting for me to arrive. My last experience with a man that eager was, unfortunately, a bust because he was so nervous and self-conscious to meet me after all the build-up that he could barely function.
In this case, I'm happy to meet him and see if we click, but it currently feels more one-sided, interestwise, than I'd like.
for the record, i have two friends happily married who nearly didn't go on second dates with their now husbands for 1-lack of connection and 2- the funny brown pants he wore. both were rewarded by giving it a second try. i'm not saying you don't know yourself well, but that we just be cautious before closing doors.
@Cousin J.
Well we're going for a martini outing tonight. Perfect mind-expanding opportunity.
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