A Thursday

From the Wikipedia:

"There is some argument about what qualifies as ironic, but all senses of irony revolve around the perceived notion of an incongruity between what is said and what is meant; or between an understanding of reality, or an expectation of a reality, and what actually happens."

It's official. I need to keep this quote in my back pocket for all dates stemming from initial online interaction.

Please view Exhibit A: Consultant from Lexington.

CL and I spent the last week enjoying the hell out of our IM chats. Wit. Ridiculous cultural references to poetry. Knowing self-deprecation that we were on OKC. Shared interest in the build-up to a date, in addition to the date itself, and milking it for what could be milked. Suggestive vibe without moving into raunch. Cheesy endearments with full knowledge they were cheesy.

So, why not. Last night I met CL for a drink at my favorite pseudo-dive for any occasion: DeLux on Clarendon. There is nothing not to like about DeLux.....from the fake Christmas tree next to the taps, to the crush of Sinatra and Elvis memorabilia on the back wall.....topped by a 10-foot-high print of a reclining nude that, it seems, my date did not have the wherewithal to stop staring at via the mirror behind the bar.

Reclining nude aside, CL did not enjoy the vibe at DeLux, and said so. One Guinness and 90 minutes of degenerating expectations later.......I was quite pleased to call it a night, and pleased that he didn't fight me on it.

I'll not run CL through, because an unsatisfying date is an unsatisfying date. The point is...the qualities that made him such a great chat partner quickly manifested themselves in person as manic. Encroachment into personal space. Nervous inability to stop stressing about the status of his leather jacket. Hyperawareness of what my face and arms were doing in reaction to what he said by commenting every time they changed, then apologizing for commenting.

In the meantime, I'd like to think I remained as confident and uncompromising-to-self as I projected in my profile, and not at all nervous. But I think this all just made him more nervous.

Oy.

So we met at 8:15 and parted at 9:45. A hug at the parking garage, and I was left wandering into the Back Bay in my blue dress and black boots....still primed for a date, ready for another drink, ready for something else.

It was with this self-confidence that I wandered into Sel de la Terre on Boylston, ordered a raspberry lambic champagne cocktail and a baked goat cheese salad, and settled in to watch the Celtics on the big screen. I ended up sharing the next hour with a gentleman--taller, fairly older than me--who introduced himself by asking what was good on the menu, which led into a lengthy discussion of politics, sports, and the revelation that I was the first person he'd met in in Boston who knew where Manitowoc, Wisconsin was.

Is it irony to meet a nice man at face value when the only reason I was out last evening was to meet a man who, in the end, could not live up to his online persona?

Perhaps.