Yet he made no move to contact me.
(Per its tongue-in-cheek mantra, OKC calls profile-viewing "stalking." This certainly didn't qualify. I read his profile. He seems perfectly mid-key temperament, good looking, friendly. Perhaps shy.)
It smacks a tad of hypocrisy. And men's lack of faith in my inherent goodness towards the collective Man.
So I decided to be the Girl of Initiative, and wrote him last night.
"So hey....you've been a frequent stalker....which I appreciate. A girl loves attention.What's on your mind?"
Tonight he answered back. That he had been quite hesitant to write me because he did not want to end up on my blog. And/or spreadsheet.
(Spreadsheet?)
(?)
You may remember, we were on this route once before with my online dating quest: a man's fear of being blogged.
Which, as I said then and say now, I respect. I can respect a man who doesn't swim in the same seas of narcissism as myself. The gentleman from this summer did not want me even to mention that I had spoken to someone (him) who didn't want to be mentioned in the blog.
Yet, this sentiment still strikes me as odd coming from folks who are willing to post copious personal data and photos on a dating website......which, while they can control the content, is frankly no less exposed.
And, unless I start getting picked up by boston.com on a daily basis, the dating website gets a hell of a lot more traffic.
Just saying.
It smacks a tad of hypocrisy. And men's lack of faith in my inherent goodness towards the collective Man.
Or else someone is just being shy.
4 comments:
It does seem strange that they'd post intimate dating details online but worry about ending up on a blog somewhere. Besides, isn't everyone on a blog somewhere by now?
You've been linked by Universal Hub, where Adam says, to paraphrase: "He was concerned she would blog about him, so of course, she did." You've blogged about this topic in the past, no? May I ask, are you on the dating site to get blogging material, or to meet a nice guy?
In this Oprah, Judge Judy, Facebook world, it may seem as if everyone wants the intimate details of their lives broadcast to the world, but trust me, not everyone does. Even if it's anonymous, he would know you were talking about him. And that is enough to be a deal-breaker for a person who likes to control their own lives. There's no hypocricy to it - on the dating site, he wasn't putting himself under a microscope and dissecting himself.
You may be a sweet person, but as Adam pointed out, the guy was right about you. As soon as you were done with him, you used him as material for a blog post. I'm sure you did it with no ill will, but there you are. I don't know if you gave him an opt-out guarantee, but he seems to have made the right judgement for himself.
how did he know you blog????
My pain: guyssuck.tumblr.com
@Mia. I put it in my profile that I blog. I figure it is fair to say so up front.
@NPW. That is my frustration exactly. Esp. since I talk about folks as anonymously as manageable.
@APP. To answer your question...the blog is about my life, which includes dating. If you've online dated yourself, you'll agree that you encounter a wide variety of people and situations....which naturally become highlights of my days and weeks...and therefore get blogged about.
The phrase "when you were done with him" suggests far more nefarious motives than are real in this case. He looked at my profile approximately 20 times without writing. I wrote him back to ask how he was, and he answered. That was the extent of our relationship.
I don't believe anyone has been harmed or betrayed here. This gentleman is a passerby, at best.
If I were dating someone and planned to write something personal about that man--as I would with any friend I blog about--I would ensure he was comfortable with it first. There are already folks in my life for whom this is true.
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