We've been waiting the last hour because I can't seem to get my writing mojo on tonight. Combined with a lack of dating mojo and some economic toilet-dwelling....oh yah. Yesterday I promised you smart and sexy when I reappeared and, damn, I'm trying to work on it.
But must confess. I haven't shaved my legs in two weeks. Neither smart nor sexy.
(Yuck. While true.... I promise I'll keep my body hair discussions to a minimum once I actually get out on a real date again.)
So now I'm wondering if I can loop the CFO into my Friends who are Boys posse. Last week I noted that, when on our most recent outing, he offered to look at my Match.com profile and give his input on what turns him on and what just doesn't work. I downed the last of my beer and said, "sure!"
We haven't talked much since. But last night he reappeared in my inbox. In addition to being busy (ramping up with the school year it seems) he mentioned being "stressed about personal finances." Not comforting to hear from the money guru. But I'll score him points: he ended the message with a cheer for my Minnesota Twins and a promise that he was off to find my profile.
I heard back from him tonight again and he indeed did his homework. Firstly, that I wrote well and playfully. (A favorite word of his....) Then...that I should think about rotating my picture selection weekly. And then:
"I have to say there are a lot of very nice looking women between 34 & 36 so the competition appears to be stiff. The North Dakota, Lutheran, Christian thing doesn't exactly capture the sexy, sassy, fun side of you that I think you want to project. Not sure how you do this, but a rewrite would be a good start .. do you ever look at other profiles? You might find some helpful hints there.
"Maybe rewrite the last paragraph to be about your perfect first date instead of talking about successful past dates.
"And maybe the tag line .. "you could be the next contestant" try something different there."
Well, must say I feel schooled. Like the professor grading an essay, who starts with, "Your overall concept is great!" before red-xing all but the topic sentence. I am a North Dakotan Lutheran Church woman. I know there are other Lutherans in Boston who might find North Dakota women interesting on geography alone.
Although. think of how the CFO knows me and how, he purports, to enjoy me: as a girl he met from a Craigslist posting who is willing to make out with him in public. (Yes. True. This is me.) Our conversations since then have touched sports, politics, music, economics, family, and (yes) church with true earnestness..but it did. All. Start. With. Talking about sex.
So I could poll for an opinion on his opinion and get riled up about him dissing my background but, truthfully, I'm thinking this was good to hear. Sometimes women do really want to know what men have to say about what they want and this is one of those times. The CFO likes to be with me (remember? Five dates?) and he has now said what it would take to get his attention if he had had to track me down in another way. He's cool with hearing about my church and why I go there, now that he knows me.
But before that, he wanted to talk about sex.
Thinking about things this way, at least for a few days, could be a shot in my limp, cold non-dating arm.
Hey. Maybe he and I could make a date out of the rewrite? Stranger things....
4 comments:
K,
Email is coming later, but just had to comment on this one!
My husband Dave and I met on Match. We met for the first time a little over a year and a half ago, and we are now married, living in a different town and expecting our first child. What a whirlwind... He says he first liked my smile but that it was my bluntness about being a Christian and wanting to share those values with someone that caused him to "wink" in the first place. If you are looking to date just to "date" then go for the re-write, and you'll meet several men who will make great stories later (oh, do I have stories...) and you will learn a TON about yourself, things that may surprise you, then again, perhaps not (I was usually surprised!). :) However, if you are looking to really find that special person, don't hide or cover up what you want - they'll certainly learn about you as you get to know them if they are worth their salt, but don't compromise what you want. It's part of who you are, and part of what makes you worth getting to know (among so many other things).
My two cents - time to get off the soap box, as it's a slippery place to be! :)
Kris
Hey K back.....
All very true, what you said. I figured if I was looking for a soulmate I'd need him to at least relate to Christianity....hence, I put it front and center.
I don't know if I'll take his advice about "leaving that out." We can have sexy Christians, can't we?!
The one good thing this did was rather make me reconsider how I portrayed myself....Christianity is a big part of my life, but there are other substantial parts too....the girl who likes to sing karaoke, drink martinis, run marathons, and have passionate kisses in the middle of the street.
I might come back to you for some advice on the wording....can't promise you a date out of it, tho. :-)
So good to hear from you. SPC rules, baby!
I think that you can mention its importance and hook them in with something else first. I judge people very superficially, so I'd admit that a sexy start or highlighting the karaoke might be more provocative. You can still screen for those who wouldn't be cool with the rest of you...I wouldn't have thought of the things he said, but I say, try it, see what happens! And why is "My Favorite Martian" on that post? I don't get it...
My cousin.....
It's Mr. Hand and Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High!
(did we not grow up in the same generation????!)
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