December 31, 8:30 p.m. I'm in the bathroom....shaved legs, silk blouse, fresh mascara and lipstick, drinks and host gifts in hand, moments from stepping out to 3 (yes, 3!) social gatherings.
Then:
1) My glasses snap at the bridge as I clean them with Kleenex. I now hold identical 1-legged spectacles.
2) No problem....I go to the toolbox for the super glue.
2) No problem....I go to the toolbox for the super glue.
3) Problem...the tube of super glue is dried into a lump. OK. Why not go to the convenience store for a fresh one?
4) Coat on, hat on, boots on....and I have no wallet.
Twenty minutes of turning my apartment on its ear, searching, and still no wallet. It might be on the #9 bus. It might have fallen from my pocket on Dorchester Street and since been plowed up with the slush. It might be funding someone's Dom Perignon purchase. Hard to tell. Nobody answers the phone at either the Citizens Bank or MBTA customer service lines.
Twenty minutes of turning my apartment on its ear, searching, and still no wallet. It might be on the #9 bus. It might have fallen from my pocket on Dorchester Street and since been plowed up with the slush. It might be funding someone's Dom Perignon purchase. Hard to tell. Nobody answers the phone at either the Citizens Bank or MBTA customer service lines.
So yes....how fitting that 90 minutes before the end of this strange and perplexing year, I was walking into a 25 mp/h wind through Broadway's snow drifts, toes frozen to the inside of my boots, prescription sunglasses on, going to Store 24. No way to know what the cashier thought when I pulled out out baggie full of dimes and quarters (from the spare change mug on my bookshelf) to pay for my $2.40 Krazy Glue pen.Which did not prove its worth; opened and squeezed, no glue came out. Perhaps it is also dried into a lump inside its plastic tube. Hard to tell.
So. We're 34 minutes into 2009. Since returning from Krazy Glue Shopping, I've taken my second bubble bath of this evening. While reading The New Yorker (thanks to glasses held together with Scotch tape). While drinking a bottle of Harpoon Raspberry Hefeweisen (meant for Eric and Brandi's party). While trying to convince myself that there are so many other worse places I could be when the wind chill is 23 degrees below zero.
(Like drinking beer with friends and meeting new people.)
I'm in my bathrobe now. In a few moments I'll empty the clean dishes from the dishwasher and start a load of laundry. Then I will help myself to the bottle of pinot grigio that was intended to help fuel Dave's party.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll find my wallet. And fix my glasses. And further perplex the Store 24 clerk by returning the defective glue.
Happy F#$%ing New Year!
Insult-to-Injury Update, 2:10 a.m.: There is a dead mouse in my washing machine. Perhaps it is time to go to bed.
4 comments:
Look at it this way dear Karin: God must have caused your most recent New Year's Eve experiences
1. to remind you to go to church either on the eve of the Circumcision and Name of Jesus or on the day. You didn't seem to have this in mind as you made your plans. or
2. He wanted us who read your blog to leave the old year with all of it's sad stuff and to enter this year laughing from the pit of our stomachs... which D & R did. So, consider yourself a messenger of God ie. an angel. Yes, that't it, you are the angel of God sent to give us hilarious news on the C & N of Jesus Day. Now doesn't that make you feel better? Thought so.
BTW: forget the dead mouse. try washing your clothes in the dishwasher. It might even be a cheaper alterntive.. but remember to use appropriate soap.
Seriously... we hope your billfold appears soon and that you have a happy new year. D
I'm confused. I thought you didn't own a dresser (wherefrom said change pile is kept). Is it a rental or a loaner? Either way, chin up (or down if you're out walking in the cold today) and Happy New Year!
@D&R. Oh my. This would have been good information yesterday. Then I would have gone to church rather than getting a manicure. Thanks!
And yes A#2...my late-night err. I truly do not have a dresser. For many years in Dorchester....when I DID have a dresser....that's where I kept the change cup. I have amended entry to correctly reflect current Southie apartment set-up. Thanks for the fact-check. :-)
I got your message last evening, Karin ... so sorry! But on the upside, you did avoid the obligatory New Year's Day hangover--and the general sense that this year's party, like every year's party, was underwhelming.
Good luck finding your wallet! For a birthday present this year, I'm going to get you a chain you can use to attach your money to something permanent--like your teeth or your ankle.
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