Back in with the Man (Redux)

I appreciate friends who continue to respond to the plethora of e-mails I write about dating attempts....even well after certain men's expiration dates. With this latest spin to the CFO story, I've preached digital sermons to a few. Perhaps I believe in the power of my persuasion technique.

But so far, no. This should tell me something, yes.

Nonetheless, I stay honest in my desire and they stay honest in disapproval...but, I think, trust me to not be an idiot and, like any good parent, know I might flounder regardless. It's good to have these folks around. When I'm balancing desire and loneliness and pragmatism and expectations and sweet talk from old flames...thoughts are constant noise, disturbing clarity. Forcing them into written words is helpful.

So thanks again to A. I've hashed out this recent bit with her since Saturday. But something she wrote this morning caused me to respond with the paragraph plaigiarized below, which I think is a clearer evocation (than yesterday's blog entry) of my current rationale:

"I know I'm going to run into this with folks who see it as odd to put in time towards anything that does not have marriage at the end of it. Is it self-abasing? Depends on your definition. I don't feel that way....my eyes are wide open here. It takes many kinds of people to make the world turn. Including those who do like to go out on enjoyable dates just because they're enjoyable. I believe I've been upfront about yes, wanting someone to be in a relationship with, but just wanting to date, period. That in and of itself is difficult enough. Much less search for soulmate. There is an ideal, of course, but there is also real life and how one chooses to go day to day.

But you've heard this all before, anyway. And who knows, it might be a moot point. We [CFO & I] haven't written in 3 days and maybe it will amount to nothing."