As you may recall, all previous conversations with S-UC contained mere snippets of the issue most likely to deal-break this relationship: politics. This was to be the litmus-test outing. And I hoped to report back that a Republican and Democrat could successfully coexist, or if nothing else, agree to disagree. Yes, we're talking a Bush Republican and a W-hating Enthusiast. But if his fealty to the current president might be because W is one of those "guys he'd love to have a beer with".....
Nope. This man was so Bushy it was like being on a date with Dick Cheney. Standing on the steps of Boston City Hall, over Bud Light and styrofoam containers of ribs and beans, it took very little prompting to get him on the two-hour roll from which he couldn't extract himself. His two most-oft-uttered statements: "I don't mean to lecture you, but...." and, after I suggested we change the subject, "Well, you asked...."
I don't remember what comment started it. But I did listen to him describe, in lengthy segments, No Child Left Behind, September 11, the history of the Iraq War and the absolute lack of strategic blunders there-in. Here is a representative sample of our "discussion" on the matter:
K: "So if the military HAD focussed their manpower and resources in Afghanistan rather than invading Iraq..."
S-UC: "But they DID, and that's why that country is 100-percent secure and we could go after those Weapons of Mass Destruction....(followed by 10 minutes of exposition on Afghanistan's security)"
K: "Oh, but recall there were no Weapons of Mass Destruction...."
S-UC: "But there were those empty canisters that they were trying to destroy....(followed by 10 minutes of exposition on how evil the Iraqi terrorists were and how they would otherwise have blown us all up)"
K: "But this war is costing $183 billion dollars a year..."
S-UC: "And isn't that a small price for our freedom....I will be forever grateful to Bush for having the courage to stand up.....(followed by 20 minutes of exposition on how the entire country of Iraq is unequivocably grateful to the United States military)"
It was partly what he said, but moreso how he said it. Not inviting return argument or questioning.
Finally, I simply asked that we stop talking about Iraq. He immediately took off his mad-professor mask and said what a great time he was having and how he hoped we'd continue the evening. So we went down the street to the Tam for a couple Brubakers. But Iraq returned, and I again had to ask it to go away or otherwise I was going to leave.
He asked if we could just agree to disagree. I suggested that this was turning out to be a bigger deal than I thought.
So, even after he still told me he'd like to go out with me again. Take me to the beach or to the movies. That he was glad I had enough passion about something to argue so vociferously. That he'd probably call me this week.
Obviously, willing to bridge the W-divide for love or lust.
Sigh. I had thought maybe I could.
I'm melancholy. This is a man who likes me. But other than his paying for dinner and giving me a ride home, I struggled to find a reason to summon even an ounce of attraction to him. Not entirely based on his Iraq lectures. But they didn't help. As he started telling me what a beautiful girl I was and how much he enjoyed my company, I couldn't think of anything to say in return. I couldn't even fake it for the sake of a kiss.
He started to make his move, grabbing my hand, and all I could think about were those lectures....and pulled away.
7 comments:
Date #2B with the Stand-Up Comedian is now on the books.
You might even consider burning the book. At least I hope you agree to agree with me the being alone trumps Boredom.
Keep fishing. D
meant to say "that being alone trumps Boredom". D
He was "glad [you] had enough passion about something to argue so vociferously," but did you actually get much argumentation in? From the way you describe it, he had the floor for most of the night.
At dinner one evening, a college friend was going on an on about motorcycles. I, caring nothing about motorcycles, listened obligingly, but said little. Finally, my friend said, "You know, this conversation would be a whole lot more enjoyable if you liked motorcycles." And yet, despite this realization, he persisted in the topic for some time more. I always thought this was an odd response to the realization.
In any case, it must be disappointing and draining to go through this testing-out phase of dating, but it certainly sounds like S-UC isn't attune enough to your interests or enjoyment level (ignoring the "let's talk about something else" cue is a major indicator, here) to make for a good long-term match. While it was probably important and worthwhile to give him this second chance, I probably wouldn't recommend expending any more energy along this particular avenue.
Take heart, though---this was by no means the last option!
one can't talk to a republican, especially a bush-republican. at least, i've never had a successful conversation with one. mostly because if how you describe the evening--as more of a lecture than a "discussion." doesn't it sound like all he listens to is fox news? zowie. he's really a Believer. it's kind of sad. like he's trying to convince himself as much as you.
because OF how you describe the evening is what i meant to say.
"a" said "One can't talk to a republican." Well, I don't think that's the case with all republicans. Being a republican myself, I think I'm fairly easy to talk to. Then again, i'm not a fan of Bush...or McCain. Actually, maybe I should consider switching parties! :)
Whatever SUC's political stance, sounds like he prefers for his conversations to be a one way street, which is never a good start to a relationship.
I think he just struck out. So, who's next in the line-up?
i have to give julie credit for being more level-headed than i. there are republicans can one talk to and there are other republicans one can't talk to. and there are democrats one can talk to and others like say rosie o'donnell who on paper i agree with but i think if i tried to converse with her in real life i'd end up wanting to punch her. S-UC sounds like your standard sean hannity type who sees things one way. most of all i give you credit, karin, for giving it another shot. and i apologize for my generalizations.
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