Am I the only person overwhelmed at both the absurdity and necessity of chemistry in a relationship? And the difficulty at finding it?
Both of my commentators to yesterday's post rightly pointed out that had the Stand-Up Comedian and I noticed the requisite mutual sparks, Saturday night's political debacle would not have mattered. He would have reached for my hand and I would have looked him in the eye and gripped. I could have taught him a lesson or two about date etiquette after we made out for several hours.
This I believe. Alas.
Chemistry aside, dating does take practice. I will review the S-UC experience for pointers on how I might conduct myself differently. Such as, perhaps, not to egg my date through volatile discussions when he's not getting the hint. Or not pretend that I enjoy kitschy outings just because he does. Or act like I'm super attracted to him, when I'm not.
S-UC is not a bad guy. (After all....he liked me!) And, he's good to his mother. For his sake, I hope he recalls his lecture and winces at its sour taste....and doesn't do it with his next date.
My macro-lesson from match.com so far: I have given chances to several guys who wrote first. I would not have approached them otherwise. And while I wasn't blown away, I also was not turned off.....hence, we went out. Mostly because I didn't want to close doors too quickly.
Hmmm. Enough warm-up.
I'm ready for someone that appeals to me. Lanky. Taller than average. Democrat who likes to talk about it. Runner's legs and strong hands. Occasionally goes to church. Appreciates the Bach cello suites. And--as my FwaB Balint recently observed--the "intellectual I need."
There's gotta be a few of these in Boston. If I find one who likes short running girls with glasses and plantar fasciitis in both feet, it has to exponentially increase the chances that chemistry might exist.
Tonight I'm going to work on it. Run a road race for courage and endorphins. Drink a few beers. Start making a few first moves.
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2 comments:
Having responded to a blog entry only once or twice--and wanting very much to respond properly to your very entertaining prose--I ask, is it okay to comment on a previous day's post? Or is it embarrassingly inappropriate? (It is also embarrassing to realize that I might have been spelling "embarrassing" with one "r" for a very long time ... thanks to google's spellcheck function for humiliating me.)
May I respond to your Bush date SUC conundrum--perhaps long resolved in your own mind--with wisdom gained from Justin. Whenever Justin is engaged in a conversation with someone whose viewpoints he does not respect--or does not care to consider--he does one of two things: he a) agrees enthusiastically and then tries to ask leading questions that will force the interlocutor into odder and odder (eminently quotable) statements (Remember Jennifer Plant?) ... or he b) emotionally withdraws and goes for subtle but unremitting sarcasm designed to either humiliate the other person or dissuade him or her from continuing the conversation. Both are fun. :) But few do it so wittily as he.
Nonetheless--from my own personal experience--I feel as if the first few dates of any proto-relationship might be best left to a few basic things: beer, food, bar games (pool, darts, or naked photo hunt, if you're feeling edgy), and topics of conversation no weightier than whether or not the Twins will top the AL Central this year. And how long before we start making out. That one's important, too. :)
I look forward to future posts ...
Joshua --
1) Of course I am glad to hear from you at any time. This is a blog without rules. Although, it is less likely that I'll see your comment if it is hidden several days ago. But I also do not like to stifle free expression when it strikes.
2) So let me get this straight: I should aspire to Harvard-educated lawyer argumentation tecniques? You are speaking of the master. I have been on the receiving end of the leading questions. So I ask: Does he teach those skills?
3) Of course, when and how long two people making out should be a priority in any given date. I apologize if anything written in the last week implies otherwise.
Since this is several days old, I wish you luck if you remember to come back here and look for a response. And love you anyway.
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