Inertia, choices

It's been 10 days since I heard from Stand-Up Comedian, and five since Guy from Hartford checked in. The last communiques from both were relatively positive, i.e.:

S-UC: "I had a great time Friday, hope you did too. I look forward to seeing you when you get back!"

GfH: "I am so sorry. It has been so crazy with clients this week, I thought you owed me a message, and was so disappointed when I didn't get one. Then I checked and found you emailed me last......How has your week been and what are your weekend plans?"

I replied to both of them within two days. (Acceptable when on vacation and ostensibly away from computer, right?) I thanked SU-C for the beer and the bike lift, but didn't let him escape too easily.

K: "We still need to discuss this W issue, though."

Silence ever since.

So now, what should a woman do? Chill? Poll her FwaBs to ask if 10 days is an unusually long time to wait for a second hello? Decide that rather than reforming Bush Republicans, she should just leave them to their own questionable political choices?

Earlier this year, when Another Man was in the picture, I was anxious over when--as a woman pursued--it's kosher to make a move back. AM liked me (for a time, anyway) and was full of ideas for getting together; then, when we were together, he didn't let me make even a pretense of paying for coffee or picking up the Sunday Times. Man, I was all about that gallantry.... relieved to be unburdened from decision-making and budgeting duties.

The good news about such gallantry is that it became obvious when AM's attention waned.... gallantry disappeared along with him.

But then came my anxiety: do I try to find him? Dare I ask him out if he hasn't asked first.....would that insult or undermine his sense of pursuit? Is he confused and does he need my assistance to clarify, or does he want me to disappear? Does he think I've lost interest if I don't stay on his radar...and at that point, I still wanted to be on the radar....and is it empowering or pathetic to check in?

Some nights during that time, I spent hours mulling these questions. Wanting to write him so much I couldn't go to bed, talking myself out of it, finally succumbing to some casual witticism, and then instantly regretting it. Checking e-mail the next morning, mortified that he hadn't replied yet, going back every five minutes to see if he ever would reply.....and chastising myself for having not been more chill, more calm, more, I don't know.....not needing him to write me to justify self-worth.

A girlfriend and I were discussing this topic during a lengthy walk on the Esplanade last night. She is a font of good advice although I suspect, married for eight years to a man who is also my good FwaB, she was confused at my confusion over whether I should write S-UC or GfH to see what is up. I.e....if you both like each other, why it is so hard to just say so.

This I do not know, dear friends. I have yet to make up my mind.

But the truth remains: it is 10:30 on Friday of the first weekend of summer, and I do not have a date.

1:59 p.m. update: S-UC sent a text message.

4:35 p.m. update: S-UC called my number at work. I might have to later append a correction to the last unbold/unitalics sentence. Again, stay tuned.