Help (oh help)

Last night at Courtside Karaoke was a night I might construe as "slightly too much fun."

As in ... glad for a hearty supper that helped soak up the tequila and 3 pitchers (oh yes, indeed) of PBR that helped celebrate the upcoming birthday of Joshua, who thankfully helped share in those 180 ounces of fun until past last call.

Snaps to Random Blog Reader, then, for saving me from having to think too creatively today. Last night she forwarded a link to a blog that compiles the Best Real Perplexing Pick-Up Lines from match.com.

Or, as the subheading suggests:

how to fail miserably at online dating. we couldn't make these up if we tried.

It is only because I'm both taking a break from cynicism and gave up on the overearnest unproductiveness of match.com quite some time ago that I can laugh at these. RBR suggested in her accompanying note that I could "probably relate to 90% of these."

Indeeed, she is correct. Some samples:

From May 20:  I was reading the most interesting article about how men and women fall in love differently. And it was saying that men (being the visual creatures that we are) usually feel an attraction first, but that women, by contrast, usually feels a “connection” first, then subsequently becomes more “attracted.” I mean, you know that kind of special connection you sometimes feel…that mysterious compelling click that takes place right THERE. Well, being the mere “male” mammal that I am, I must confess to being rather “attracted” to the photo in your ad, but then felt, “connected” to the words you wrote to accompany it. After all, intelligence is beauty in its purest form. Am I right?

From May 13:   Have you ever talked to a very submissive guy before? Would you give me a chance to entertain you?

From May 11:  I share your passion and affinity for great music, I am a very well dressed gentleman in great shape since I came out of the fashion business and I’m extraordinarily creative in my profession and I like a woman who knows what she wants in man just like a hungry lion who has an avarice appetite without Filet Mignon for a month.

From April 20:   You’ve just reaffirmed my wish to be a dog in another life. No, not the type of guy women refer to with disdain as “a dog”; I mean an actual English Bulldog. I mean they get it all: head-scratches, free food and drink, and as your picture shows, the adoration of multiple beautiful women. Other guys want to be Astronauts or Presidents; I want to be a dog. Ah, if only life were so simple. What kind of animal would you like to be?

From April 13:  What silly idiot let you get away! ;-) I have a feeling someone didn’t wear his helmut when he rode the short bus to school! haha just wanted to say hi ;-)

Day 19 of 31: 4 miles

May Total: 38.56

2011 Total:  250.76