Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sweet talk me, baby!

It's official. I have the following description stamped on my forehead:
Are you a man who has just gotten out of a long-term relationship and doesn't want really want to get into anything serious right now? Or, might you be a man who has just met a great woman (doesn't have to be me) and you don't know where it's going so you're still exploring your options? Or, did you just get ditched by this great woman and you've had a beer and you're feeling lonely and need to do something, anything, to imagine someone else's legs besides her's wrapped around you?

Talk to me! Talk to me!


I expect nothing. Want nothing. Need nothing.
Last night, despite spotty wireless that kept throwing me off of OKC, I kept chatting with a certain Cantabrigian because we were talking about him being a poet and a teacher and once having lived in Southie and I was thinking he was over 30 and had good stubble and seemed serious and had written me first.
Karin:  You do emphasize your writing over your teaching in your profile, though...
Cambridge Poet:  yeah.  I teach to facilitate my writing
K:  And....
CP:  and to be able to do it
K:  Ah. Indeed.
CP  because there is no money in poetry
K:  I hear you.  I got to Boston when I came for an MFA.
CP:  cool.  Do you still write?
K:  I do now.
CP:  goood.   you can't let that fade. as tough as it is
Of course I can't.
CP:   there are systems that make it so that art making is not viable
CP:  and writing is my top passion
CP:  and it is like the 10th thing I can do
CP:  because I like not being homeless and I like food  :-)
K:  I actually specialize in self-deprecation.
CP:  hahaha
K:  And try to be funny about it.
CP:  we kind of have to I think, to be writers
K:  Indeed.  Overly self-conscious can be tedious.
CP:  yeah we need to blow off steam
CP:  pressure release
CP:  and mostly by laughing at our existential angst
Of course!  (I think I know what existential angst is but am not sure if I'm laughing at it.  Nonetheless.  He's a writer!  He's talking to me about writing!)
K:  I think people can identify with someone who can laugh at herself, also.
CP:  ha.  I think so
K:  I started my blog, BTW, to chronicle my attempts at online dating. ;-)
CP:  the world is serious
K:  Online dating is not.

CP:  going well?
K:  the dating or the blog?
CP:  not had much luck
CP:  but I have been here less than a week
CP:  well the form and the content are inseparable no?
K:  Indeed.  Although my dating life has enough ups and downs that I had to branch into other areas of my life .... running, singing, just living in the city, etc. Southie.
K:  I get a constant stream of amusement from OKC, though.
CP:  fair enough
CP:  there are a lot of people (here) that take themselves seriously
CP:  I met one really great person
CP:  but it is totally a casual thing
CP:  not sure where it is going
Of course you did.  And of course you don't.
CP:  It just kinda happened
CP:  she isn't close to here
CP:  and I assume we will meet up again
CP:  not pursuing the dating thing right now
Of course you're not.  Let's talk about it some more.
K:  How's that going?
CP:  It is fine
CP:  I am not necessarily looking for anything
CP:  just looking to live right now, see who I meet
CP:  most of my friends moved away
CP:  need more fun things to do
Of course you do.
K:  So what's your motivation, then?
CP:  To maybe meet some people and have more fun in my life
CP:  I have been like shoulder to the wheel for 15 years
CP:  and the past 3 months I have been single for the first time in over a decade
CP:  so not rushing into anything
Of course you aren't.
K:  Ah.  Well congrats, though, on scoring the casual thing so soon.
K:  I know some guys who would be most jealous...
CP:  yeah.  and believe me
CP:  she was the hottest woman I have ever been with
K:  Well congrats, then.
CP:  thanks
K:  Hopefully she could say the same.
CP:  I am not sure
CP:  but I liked her as a person and would pursue
CP:  but she is being cool about it
CP:  so I am not gonna like try and force a relationship
Of course.  Because she probably realizes you are just wanting some more fun in your life.
K:  So how come you felt like chatting with me tonight?
CP:  I just was bored
CP:  and wanted to see kind of what other people are using this for
CP:  to some degree my writer mind is at play
CP:  like yours
K:  Ah.  Well I'm glad I was that intriguing.
Actually, my writer mind was hoping to not be talking to a man who (again) saw me as a cure for his boredom when hot dream woman (who of course he liked as person) wasn't around and, resultingly, inserted his ego into an hour of my life I will never get back.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

@Karin. With regards to the OKC, might not your forays be seen as exercises in head-banging masochism? You seem to go nowhere with it.

-----squigkato

Karin said...

@squigkato.

Well, yes.

But I do also refuse to believe that, out of 34,000 people on that website at any given time, every man there is a self-involved ass. I'm trying to take the glass-half-full approach.

Anonymous said...

@Karin. Point taken; yet, the definition of a fool I like best is a person who, when remedying a failed action, only repeats the action.


-----squigkato

Karin said...

@squigkato.

Hm. So you're saying I should never IM with anyone on a dating website again?

Personally, douchebags are everywhere, and not just on OKC. If I want to avoid recreating past negative situations, I'd have to hermitize myself. Which also seems foolish, IMO.

Anonymous said...

@Karin. Hermetize? No, not at all. Just appears that a "cost-benefit analysis" would show mostly cost and no benefit in those Internet sites.


---squigkato

Heidi said...

Haha, I love your last paragraph. Reminds me of a song by Sara Bareilles- King of Anything. Well, the time-wasting part of the song. :)

Karin said...

@Heidi.

Luckily, most time-wasting efforts (even thought this one is in exception) result in at least one lesson learned. Makes me feel less stupid about having wasted it!