" ;-)"I hadn't thought about HBI in the 4 weeks since we texted each other on the eve of my vacation. Six weeks since we had ended (abruptly one night in light of his cranky behavior) our series of marathon IM chats. Pretty much relegated him to the almost-was-but-never-will-be pile.
I returned text Saturday afternoon. He came back, a moment later, from his vacation spot near Lake Tahoe. We exchanged Gmail addresses. Saturday night we made and kept an IM chat. Sunday night we chatted for another 3 hours. Last night, it ran almost 4, ending when his laptop battery died.
This was and is unexpected. He's younger (26). He's a computer programmer with a different life agenda. I'm fully aware that IM vibe does not always translate into successful in-person.
And, of course, how much will we like each other in a couple weeks when his vacation ends.
One of our more interesting arguments: he claims to have liked me immensely, from the start, and was frustrated at how I "rebuffed" his attempts. I do not recall him ever asking me and claim innocence.
A sample exchange -- which began when he joked that I should be inspired, by his interest, to take photos of myself at the beach and send to him.
Karin: Hm. We should meet each other first. That would probably help with the inspiration part.Funny, this topic came up in our initial chat back on May 24. I had zoned it until today.
HBI: I keep begging...
K: Hm. Not. When have you begged?
HBI: I have asked, and suggested, multiple times that we see each other. You repeatedly brush me off though.
K: Hm. I'll be dead serious with you. I am not recalling any actual request to go out, just lots of insinuation.
HBI: The night you got blown off [a stand-up I detailed here] I asked if we were going to spend time together soon. That's about as direct as you can get, I think.
K: So perhaps I was not taking you seriously, then. Perhaps I thought you were drunk and silly at the time. At the point previously where we were chatting, I would indeed have met up had I thought you were seriously asking me.
HBI: heh, I would have been all over it. I told you I wanted to see you. Told you I wanted you to come see me. I brought it up frequently without putting too much pressure on you. I didn't want to make it difficult to say no.
K: Ah. OK, then. Then I would think we can say I'm not brushing you off. I was probably waiting for the "I'm free on X night. Are you?" Girls sometimes go for that.
HBI: Well, I was going to leave the when up to you, since my schedule is always free.
K: whew. We are a mutually a mass of indirect assumptions, then. Let's just be direct from now on, eh? Girls don't like to ask guys out much, because they think it makes them look lame. And they tend to think the guy likes to ask, so they wait..... ;-)
HBI: Well you are the more mature older woman. haha, but alright, I will take charge from here on out. As soon as I get back, I will be asking you out. So, be prepared for that.
K: Mature older women like to be asked out. So that works for me.
K: OK. I do need to go. I, myself, am losing my lovable charm from sitting here so long.But I hadn't been girding anything. I had been laboring under an OKC veteran's assumption (i.e. glazed with cynicism) that he would follow the trend of 90 percent of correspondents and fail to follow-up. Meanwhile, he had thought I wasn't interested, because he was waiting for my move .... since older women should want to do the asking.
HBI: Have fun now. If you want there to be a next time, you let me know.
K: Well, I enjoyed the chat.
K: Let's do it again. You know where to find me.
HBI: haha, I'll leave it up to you, unless it's really my job.
K: It is. If I have to educate you in the ways of the world, I will.
HBI: How traditional of you. I will try to think of a better opening line for next time. Be prepared.
K: I'm girding the loins already.
Which I wouldn't have guessed in a million .... especially since during our last previous chat, on June 2, he was giving me the written equivalent of Death Star decimations.
Curiouser and curiouser, where this might lead.