Must be something in the water ...

... or it just must be hot and bothered season on the OKC.

In the last 4 days I've been hit up on the site more than I have in the last month. And I haven't updated my profile or added a new photo or even browsed many other profiles--a move that often results in a flurry of hits simply because the viewees want to see who's viewing them.

Talk about wham, bam, thank you ma'am.  Every contact has been brash, lacking preamble, wanting to move straight to the date or the bed at the same time he says hello. For illustrative purposes only -- and no, not at all to stroke my ego -- here are a few opening lines:

1) "Ever considered 20 more experienced fingers?" (Friday, via Instant Messenger, in reference to one of my profile comments in which I say I am grateful  my hands are intact to do the things I love most ... like play the piano. The extra 10 fingers to which he referred, other than his own, are those of his girlfriend ... who evidently would have also been part of the proposal ... if you get the drift of the proposal ... )

2) "Hi. Yeah, you've got gorgeous legs ... I work in S. Boston. I would be delighted to meet you for coffee or dinner sometime." (Friday, late, from the inbox.)

3) "I'm gonna be in Boston this weekend ... Let's go out ... " (Friday, from  IM, via NYC, from a guy I last exchanged messages with 3 months ago. Whose profile photo is his reclining bare chest and waistband of his briefs.)

4) "you are extremely sexy. what are you up to?" (Received during work today, from IM, whose profile has no personal information but 2 photos of a man's bare chest. As if he and #3 got together to tag-team.)

5) "hello there gorgeous lady, how are you today? i was wondering if I could ask you a kinky question. if not, its ok:)" (Later today, also from IM. Out of base curiosity I replied to ask what the question was.  He came back with a reply so x-rated that my hair follicles blushed. Why I thought I'd get a gentleman's response is, probably, a good question.)

Oy.  Seems if I wanted, a sure outing at every turn.  If I wanted.  None of the above is really something I'm wanting.  But it's hard to look away.

Meanwhile, I've been talking a lot lately with comrade Young Scientist -- himself experiencing the same rank forwardness on the OKC, but from the opposite sex.  Last night a woman got his attention via IM with "u r hot! let's chat!"  He went on to say:

"Now, I must admit that I stayed up 10 min past my bedtime then to see what she was all about. As one might have predicted, she was an idiot "let's talk about cheese! Cheddar!" And I was like wtf and signed off."

This afternoon, "cheese lady" appeared again on OKC. Young Scientist and I happened to be on g-mail, chatting at the same time.  So via g-mail he gave me a play-by-play of his IM conversation with her, in real time. Very meta, yes. 

A brief sample:

YS: Remember the one with the cheese comment?

K: !!!! So that was a real comment? I thought maybe you were paraphrasing.

YS: just im'd me saying "fancy meeting you here, let's talk about cheese!!" yeah it's totally true

K: wtf? What does the cheese have to do with anything?

YS: i just asked if cheese was a euphemism for something else

K: Good move.

YS: she said "nope"

K: Ha! Hysterical.

YS: here she says "do you have any money? because sweet doesn't pay for dinner! .... i would like to go somewhere that serves cheese please ... swiss ..... cheddar .... mozzarella ... brie .... american ... macaroni and ... "

Eventually, not much later and after many lines of dialogue that would make no sense in this retelling -- it came out that she wanted to come over to his apartment in short order and ... eat cheese .... among other activities one might want to engage in after getting a man's attention by calling him "hot". Especially "hot" with multiple exclamation points.

(Although, amazingly, she never explained her cheese-drenched opening.)

Is it just the season?  This go-for-broke, damn-it's sunny-outside, I'm-gonna-get-me-a-lover heedlessness about it?

One of my long-time FWABs is a gentleman in nearly all respects and while straight as a ruler, never ogled other women in my presence.  Until his first April in grad school at Boston University.   One day on the BU Bridge, he told me how without him even knowing when it happened, all the undergraduate girls started wearing sundresses and sandals and suddenly he couldn't look at or think of anything else except for those girls' bare shoulders.  

(I was walking with him. I had already noticed.)

This week on the OKC reminds me that feeling ... minus the PG-rating.

Yes, folks. It's all surface distraction and it's hard to look away.