It could have been one of those days. Hell, it still could be. I was fine waking up on time, from good dreams. Then when getting dressed I discovered that last night, while cutting through the Prudential Center, I (must have) opened my backpack to pull out an apple and dropped 1 of 2 lace-up pumps (Aldo, $100, bought new in Sept) somewhere in the food court. While calculating the odds of someone saving and turning in a shoe in a mobbed urban shopping mall I caught sight of the expensive steroids (as result of expensive vet visit) for Tusker's cold, sitting on the counter, undistributed still because, well, he seems to have gotten over the cold on his own. Grumbling, got on bike 15 minutes later than planned to discover a cool, breezy rain beginning in time for my commute, which was great, because I enjoy being both late for work and soaking wet while there. Arrival at the office heralded by the unexpected departure of long-time half-million dollar client. Followed shortly thereafter by e-mail from Mom detailing prolonged intestinal distress, layered with news that Grandma, who had fallen last week, had not been herself since. Trying trying trying not to be down, in an office blanketed on all sides by black skies and fog, missing the physical and peripheral presence of MSF who himself took sick with headache and fever on Monday and yesterday turned phone off, and I cannot make soup or bring water or scratch his head or help in any constructive way. Starting to think everything I own is breaking down and everything is expensive and everyone is far away.
So I'm kinda down. But there was a moment in that melancholy when I remembered I am a girl with Patience. Judgment. Family. Friends. And Health. Even if they aren't with me every minute. I still hate this cold fall bluster and I still miss MSF and I still worry about Mom and Grandma and still don't want to call up the Pru Lost & Found and even more don't want to spend another $100 on necessary work shoes that I already spent $100 on..
But. Patience Judgment Family Friends Health. My new mantra in time of need.
(Just writing that felt good.)
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2 comments:
Karin, I've been a lurker on your blog ever since I saw a link to you in an msnbc article years ago. I have really enjoyed reading, especially how candid you are about life. Reading between the lines, it seems to me that things are going well with MSF, so I wanted just suggest something out of the ordinary which might make you feel better. If you have MSF's address, I'm sure you could arrange for a grocery story to deliver chicken soup, bread and OJ, presuming he'd answer the door. :) It's not quite the same as jumping on a plane, but it might be better than nothing. That, and, I hear the sun is supposed to come out again tomorrow.
@Meg. Many thanks! (Both for reading and writing in.) That's an excellent idea; I know someone, too, who lives near his neighborhood who might have suggestions for good places that do that. ;-)
FYI.....he checked in today on his way home from the doctor and confirms he has full-blown pneumonia. And now the meds to treat it. The latter of which is excellent news.
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