Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Single. (Not trying not to be single.)

Justin of New Jersey is busy these days, especially with preparations for the impending arrival of he and his wife's first child in June.

But he was game to keep me company on Gmail over lunch today.  Solving the problems of my life, which he does well when in Cheerful Producer of the World mode, like he is right now.

Perfect on a a day when I'm saddled with a throat (that ostensibly feels as if it is) coated with glass shards. Which kept me up most of last night looking for the cool side of the pillow and a neck angle that didn't cause further coughing.  Which made today a joy.

Which is another reason I'm just going to let the conversation speak for itself.  I'll work how to make this blog more "not trying not to be single" at a later date.
Karin:  So, questions.What should I get J & J for their wedding?
Justin: Hm....They register somewhere?
K:   And -- I have to RSVP by April 30. Should I proactively RSVP with a guest, even though I have no one?
Justin: Will you know alot of other people at the wedding?  B/C I actually have some feedback about this RSVP thing.
K:   Eh....probably 3 or 4 others. I know their families ... What's your feedback, oh sage?
J:   Well, if you know people (fairly well)...then it MIGHT be best to go alone, depending on WHO you might take.  I just went to a wedding and sat around a table with high school friends and spouses, SO.  There was this one girl there who brought her 3-wk old boyfriend of sorts with her.  A totally awkward evening for him, and sometimes for the rest of us.  Once a guy knows where he stands with a woman (both in his mind and from her point of view),  then he feels comfortable.  B/C you definitely don't want to have to babysit someone...
K:  Sigh.
J: Maybe not the best answer...
K:  Just saying that going to a wedding alone for the umpteenth time and having to figure out all my own small talk is ..... preemptively exhausting.
Justin: Yup.  I mean, you could do a +1 and if you have the right invite... you'll know.
K:   I know. But I don't even have a prospect at the moment.   Man in NY doesn't count.
J:  Ha. I know.  I know....
K:  I think I need a desert island, an unlimited library and an unlimited supply of cosmopolitans and peanut butter.  That sounds better than anything I've got on my plate right now.
J:  Sounds pretty good to me too.  Hm... This information about that whole depression thing ....  I think the fact that your blog and life intersect so much can't be the healthiest. I think a "spring cleaning" is in order...:)
K:  You're most certainly probably right.
J:  I think, seriously that you could focus on the SINGLE part. Not so much the TRYING NOT TO BE SINGLE (on your blog) not necessarily your life.   :)
K:   Don't I already do that?
J: I don't think so.  Do you?   Maybe I've been misreading? :)  I'll have to go back and re-read some of my favorite posts.
Day 19 of 30:  2.45 miles
April Total:  39.59
2011 Total:  193.58


Anonymous said...

Move to a new city - your personality and Boston don't jive. Boston is too conservative for someone of your friendly stature. Go get a job in NYC or SanFran. You'll love both cities - you'll find a great guy in weeks and it will be a great change. That's what you should do this Spring.

k. mead said...

I don't know how much you read into the whole - what you put into the universe is what you get back - but maybe Justin has a point. With your blog you are telling the universe you are single in the city, instead you should be putting out there that you want love. I truly believe that if you focus on the negative, negative comes back at you. So think, I'm healthy, happy, and fantastic and ready to love - and maybe it will come to you!

Or decide you don't want someone. Determine you need time for yourself, or you don't want a boyfriend. Then you will find one!

cantabrigie said...

I’m usually just a silent blog observer, but decided to chime in. I find your blog to be an often funny, always honest look at what it's like to be a single thirty-something woman in Boston. (An inherent aspect of being single--for many people--is "trying not to be single." I know how this feels, because, although I'm a newlywed now, I'm (very) well into my thirties and I've walked about a bazillion miles in those singlehood shoes.) Your blog also reflects your other interests and shows your life as a whole. I think your continued efforts to try some new things and shake things up a bit will only help you.