Three nights this past week I had chances to be social. I must have reminded myself I was tired and that I'd benefit more from going home to cook and read on the couch and go to bed at a decent hour, and begged off.
Last night I was in bed at 11:30. Today I took the entire day on this approach: up early to run and to yoga, to a coffee shop to finish tax returns, to pick up long-forgotten drycleaning, to my office to get a stack of bills and 4 backed-up months of correspondence and parking ticket (yes!) appeals off my brain and in the mail. All this decluttering feels wonderful -- but I don't like so much this total desire to be alone.
Not that being alone is bad. Or even necessarily undesirable ... from time-to-time, and in small doses, to illustrate self-sufficiency.
But I've been here before for weeks at a time and it's bad habit to get into. It's too damn comfortable. It back-burners friends who don't deserve it. It makes me forget how to be a conversationist of note, a flirt, a person with something to say.
I've been alone enough in this lifetime so far, anyway, right?
I'm about to head home to make some hotdish for supper. After which, in my original grand scheme for today, I thought I'd finish the night by throwing my bedding in the laundry and go picking up a DVD from the grocery store Red Box.
But maybe I could just clean the apartment tomorrow?
I'm starting to think instead about Stats. It's a bar down the street that is new and that is always hopping and might be full of 20-somethings but might also have some 30-somethings too. I don't know why, although I do know there's a dart board and there's a television and there will be people. If I take a shower and put on some fresh jeans and my boots and go say hello to some of them, maybe that would be a good exercise.
Maybe even a good night.
Day 11 of 28: 2.25 miles
February Total: 22.80
2011 Total: 72.81