Stubborn

Tonight
I sat
neck-deep
in the tub
for an hour
and forty minutes
(as the water went lukewarm,
then cold),
staring at an exposed knee
and my toes,
immobilized
despite the chill,
thoughts
equally stagnant,
stuck on
why I like what I like
and
why I do what I do
and
why of late I'm
unhappy,
despite every effort
to defend
liking what I like
and
doing what I do
and,
acknowledging this
unease,
can't identify
why I'm
so unwilling
to change
any of it.