Report card

For those of you curious if I ever do anything anymore that I proclaim (via this blog) I'm going to make myself do ....

1) The Year of Making Coffee? FAIL  I'm back to buying Dunkin' Donuts and/or Starbucks coffee drinks every day. Damn tax refund, for causing momentary flushness.  Although Lent is on the horizon .... with its reminder of the need for sacrifices.  Stay tuned.

2) Quit Online Dating? B-  Caved last week and rewrote my OKC profile to see if it entices hits from a different breed than I had been attracting the last 6 months.  But take heart: when a 22-y-old engineer who, after initial sweetness, began detailing unsolicited fantasies about a fetish I can't even think about without throwing up in my mouth a little, I didn't reason, just ignored him. I think he has gone away.

3) Run every day, no less than 2 miles a day?   B+ After tonight I will have clocked 103.6 miles in 2011 to date.  Not every day. But 103.6 divided by 49 days = 2.11. (Whew.)

4) Great Cosmo Challenge?  Eh.  Baby steps.  Last week:  contemplated the 22 date ideas. Yesterday: fed the list into a Google Docs spreadsheet for easy further review. Tomorrow: contemplating them further. In the meantime: if you know of any co-ed rec leagues that might take a chance on a shorter-than-average girl, get thee your suggestions to my comment box.

5) Major Shake Up?  Better than Eh.  Fear not, I haven't given up.  It's been on my mind.   I have a serious thought as to executing such .... but I'd rather figure out the logistics before spilling what it is. 

In the meantime, I have started wearing everyday earrings, something I haven't done since 2003. In the last week I have received 5 male-based comments on my "pretty" appearance, all while pulling my (in serious need of haircut) hair back and wearing these $4 hoops from Target. 

Coincidence? Can major shake-ups come in smaller packages than originally conceived?

As in, should I just have been exposing my neck and collarbone all this time?

Day 27 of 28: 1.8 miles

Day 28 of 28: 2.8 miles

February Total: 53.05

2011 Total: 103.6

What single guys do on weekends when they don't have dates

Can I call it ironic
to be sitting at Starbucks
alone
on Saturday night
when 2 feet to my left
a dozen adult males
(a dozen! and none bad-looking!)
in support-group format
thanks to Meet-In or Meet-Up
(I forget which, though they said it)
and
in all seriousness
strategize conversation starters
for meeting girls in nightclubs
and
conversation continuers
for when the starters succeed,
giving each other pointers
before leaving en masse to
ostensibly
try some out
at a nightclub.

Wingmen in flight.

I wonder
had I been wearing
something more alluring
than
a hoodie
tennis shoes
and
unwashed hair
they would have realized
they could have tried
some on me.

I was
too shy
to ask them.

Or
maybe
these men
weren't the type of men
who realize
that girls hang out
in other places
besides nightclubs.

But that isn't really my point.

Which is,
actually,
that
decent-looking
confident-sounding
guys
are just as
clueless
and
scared shitless
as the
rest of us.

It's
kind of
a relief.

Pick-up Line (new favorite)

"Would you possibly be interested in a very hot, pleasing tushy massage?"

Seriously.  Twenty-two, college graduate and "tushy."  I'm trying to decide what it is about this question that amuses me.  Word choice?  Preference for a** above all else, especially that of a woman in her late 30s? 

(From now on, every post about an OKCupid pick-up must include the rubber-stamp disclaimer: "I Thought I'd Heard and Seen Everything .... Until ....")

"You and I seem to have some strong similarities. I really enjoy playing the piano, and have composed roughly ten hours of music. I also really enjoy running, and was one of the fastest runners in Massachusetts when I was in high school. What's your mile/five mile time?"

Hm.  So I dig into his profile and see that he's also an engineer, a lover of "deep music that brings out the emotions in you", a political moderate who likes people "who are amusingly weird yet down to earth when it counts."

Still.  Twenty-two. Whose first comment to me was about my rear end.  But, also:

"I don't like it when people view my profile after I send them a message, but completely ignore me afterward. It says a lot about their personality...

Sigh.

Update 1:20 p.m.:  Not wanting to know what ignoring him says about my personality, I wrote to tell him he was sweet for writing but that he was a fair amount younger than me. To which he immediately replied:

"I think age is just a number, and numbers are only important when you're running."

Day 25 of 28: 3.00 miles 

February Total: 48.46

2011 Total: 98.46 

Good poem (sung II)

I Love, I Love (Traveling II)*
from The Honesty Room (1995)

I heard love can fall so hard, it can bury a kingdom
I heard it makes the spring appear out of season
It's a storm in a shadowbox, a force to be reckoned with,
When it finds you and find you, it will.

And I'd not believed it til I loved, I love
The rivers sing and stars awaken above me
And the wind and the moon in fits of restless conspiring
Turn night to heaven for you.

But I am going to a far, far land
I know it sure as I've a past and a future
With my maps on the table, you see, I have lost many things
So many I won't turn back.

And were I a deadwood ship, my heart a compass
I would leave with inanimate grace, no love could touch me
But I live and I know that I'll burn as I grow
Though it might break my heart to walk away and so

As a moon may adore you and remain, high moon
The wind may crown your head with leaves, and keep blowing
So I'll stop and I'll watch you, for I love, I love
And then be on my way. And then be on my way.

--Dar Williams

*recommended
if you need something to

unexpectedly bring you to tears

on an overcast Thursday afternoon at the office

Day 24 of 28: 2.45 miles
February Total: 45.46
2011 Total: 95.46

Opinionatedless

Two things from today:

Michigan Mike's most recent Facebook status update:

"I've come to the conclusion that diplomacy is inefficient."

Which I read shortly after a lunch with my sage Justin who, after parsing my now-infamous state 'o lethargy, pointed out a quality he and I share:

Too deferential.  Too quick to compromise to make someone else happy ... in and of itself not a bad thing, but when done repeatedly in the service of subverting our own opinions.

He does it sometimes in conversations with his wife, creating problems by being deferential rather than truthful.  I do it in trying to hold onto friends, to lovers, or to situations long after their shelf lives, not speaking up if and when I'm disappointed at the time I'm disappointed, leading to lack of resolution and squandering of opportunities and f***ing, chronic insomnia.

Wow.  All this time I thought I was just trying to be nice.

But it is a habit of mine -- not stating what it is I want out of something or someone out of fear of being too pushy.  Like not contacting men I've dated, waiting for them to go first.  Not telling a guy friend that I have romantic feelings for him and then getting angry when he doesn't ever ask me on a date.  Not explaining to a friend that I've lost touch with that I'm sad we've lost touch because I think she's probably too busy to stay in touch and me contacting her would just make her more busy and me less likely to be able to stay in touch.  Not that I've ever said any of this to her. And not that we're in touch.

It reminds me something from college, when my girlfriends and I would cruise around West Fargo on Friday nights for an hour of purgatory, because no one in the car would be the one to make a decision about which restaurant to stop at, because no one wanted to offend anyone by giving an honest opinion. By which point we'd all be chewing Kleenex out of sheer hunger. And mad at each other for wasting each others' time.

It's a good thing, I think, this having an opinion and stating it -- if I could just figure out how to incorporate it into my daily diet.

Great Cosmo Challenge

Q:  How do you know you must really be appearing tapped-out and desperate to the the masses?

A:  When your cousin's fiancé mails you a torn-out clipping from the March issue of Cosmo titled

 "Where to Meet Your Future Boyfriend:  Is your dude selection seriously lacking? Think of our suggestions as your guy GPS--they'll direct you straight to an eligible cutie."

To be fair, his accompanying note stated that my cousin is the one who thought I might want to see this ....

And to be more fair, Cousin J down in Nicaragua did e-mail me last week to say she was asking him to forward it to me -- in particular because he himself had given a "real man's stamp of approval" to this list new suggestions for meeting guys he thought were "good and valid."

Not surprisingly, I have to agree that many are indeed that -- from going to coffee tastings to visiting a guitar shop to hanging at the iPad displays at Apple stores to joining a fitness bootcamp.

Other than going to wine tastings, I haven't given many of them a thought before.  (And as I sat on the bus this morning perusing the list, I caught the man next to me innocently reading over my shoulder and quickly looking away as I caught him ...  which seems a good omen.)

So it is the 22nd of Feburary. 

There are 22 ideas.

My birthday is on the 22nd of March.

A month seems adequate time to see how many of these I can tick off, eh?

On your marks, get set.....

Day 22 of 28: 2.00 miles
February Total: 43.01

2011 Total: 93.01

Good idea

Meghann and I did check out Telegraph Hill Saturday night, which was fine.

But we also braved the genuinely local scene at Sullivans across the street (complete with two inebriates attempting to pick us up as a pair) and stayed until the wee hours at Quencher's Tavern on I Street.  And I think we both agreed that Southie should forget about trying to upscale its pubs and stick to dive bars.  Cheaper, livelier.  More real.

It was while on the stools at Quencher's that Meghann interrupted whatever gripe-ridden story I was telling to proclaim:

"I think you are ready for a major shake-up."

As in job. Neighborhood. City.  Church.  Or something to pull me out of my sense of stagnation that feels potentially un-ending.

Two days later, and I'm still thinking about her proclamation and what might be required to have one occur, and what kind.

Because I like the idea.

Day 20 of 28: 3.25 miles

February Total: 41.01

2011 Total: 91.01

Saturday meet-up

Hola y'all.

Taken in by Meghann's enthusiasm to check out a new place in the hood, and the fact of a 3-day weekend, and that I always say I want to check out new places in this hood but rarely do, 

it seems as good a reason as any to check out a new place in the hood.

Tonight.

Let's start at 8 p.m. at Telegraph Hill, 289 Dorchester Street, South Boston.  We can have a round, determine if we want to stay longer, and if not, think of another new place in the hood (out to Fort Point Channel, perhaps?) we want to check out.

Daters of Idiosyncratic Bostonians are welcome.  But you don't have to be one.  If you just feel like getting a beer in Southie on a Saturday night, come join.

(Questions? Or think you might join later and don't have my phone number?  Drop an e-mail to datersidiosyncraticbostonians@gmail.com before 7:30.)

Day 19 of 28: 4.10 miles

February Total: 37.75

2011 Total: 87.76

Never hurts to ask

I was glad

Random Blog Reader

weighed in yesterday

with her suggestion on

Central Bottle's

Thursday Wine Bar.

What fun, for $14.

(And in Cambridge, too.)

RBR and I

got caught up on each other's lives

after long absence

and tried

falanghina

romorantin

schioppetino

and

gagglioppo.

Then
we went down Mass Ave
to find
Miracle of Science
to full to sit down,
but the night was warm
so we walked further to

ZuZubar,

home of the shaggy, friendly bartenders

(we discovered)

and had

empanadas and black olive paste with labenah

and beer.

Refreshing a dormant friendship.
New places to hang.
Weather that melts snow.

A good Thursday night.

Day 16 of 28: 3.35 miles

Day 17 of 28: 2.15 miles

February Total: 33.65

2011 Total: 83.66

Eventful(less)

Omelet.  Coffee. Work. Another coffee.  Gym. Rehearsal. Pasta. Dishes.  Bed.  OKC.

All before midnight.

(A miracle!)

Maybe I'm relatively caught up with things.

(Or at least the things I meant to do today.)

Leaving me with time to remember that I don't have any activities scheduled for tomorrow night.  Or Thursday night.  Or Friday night.  Or Saturday night.

(Other than running and yoga.  Which don't really count.)

Folks, I need a social outing scheduled, stat.

Who wants to do something?

Anyone?

And what?

Ideas and invites welcome.

(Other than mocking me for even asking.)

(Which you can do amongst yourselves.  Just don't invite me.)

Seriously.